


love hurts in three ways

by sugawarawrites



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Cheating, M/M, OsaSuga Angst Day, osasuga weekend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 20:07:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29356194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugawarawrites/pseuds/sugawarawrites
Summary: Osamu finally decides to take a step in the right direction. He's finally going to marry the man of his dreams. But, secrets are always meant to be let out.
Relationships: Miya Osamu/Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	love hurts in three ways

“We should end this, Rin.”

_ 10 years and counting.  _

_ He’ll never let those years go down the drain.  _

_ Those years are special and meant everything to him. _

“Where is this coming from, Samu? You stopped talking to me months ago and now you just casually show up saying this shit to me?!”

“Nowhere, I’ve just known for a long time.” Samu sighed

_ I promised to love him forever. _

“The fuck does that mean? He never made you happy, you told me that yourself!”

_ I was stupid to have said that. _

“Look, Rin. You knew what you were getting into when we started this. Breaking up with him is off the table and will always be off the table, he’s the one I want. I was just too blind and stupid to take that for granted.”

Osamu let out another sigh, momentarily closing his eyes. His eyes flicker open, suddenly hearing hurried shuffling and the screeching of the metal chair against the floor signaling Rin leaving the small cafe they were in.

_ I’m sorry. _

* * *

The walk towards their shared apartment was not a long one but still, Osamu took his time in the cold autumn breeze. 

There’s solemnity in the air. He realizes that the weight that has been dragging him down has finally been lifted off his shoulders. 

He smiles, eyes sparkling at the sunlight passing through the trees as flashes of memories flit through his eyes.

_ Smiles. _

_ Laughter. _

_ Happiness. _

“It’s been 10 years, huh?” 

* * *

Two years have passed and they’re finally engaged. 

Never in this world did Osamu think he’d hear the man of his dreams say yes to being with him for the rest of his life.

_ Love. _

_ Celebration, _

_ and  _

_ Guilt? _

Osamu feels like he’s the luckiest and happiest man on earth. He should be feeling pure joy but somehow, something is eating away at his happiness.

Instead of being ecstatic, a pang of guilt immediately washes over him. He sees his lover smile happily, wiping away his tears of joy, his left hand up in the air, admiring the ring that was supposed to be a symbol of their love and commitment.

He knew what was eating him up inside.

Sugawara Koushi was still clueless about Rin.

* * *

**SEVERAL MONTHS LATER**

“Fuck, Tsumu! Do you remember what he looked like when I proposed to him? That was the happiest smile I’ve seen on his face...” He remembers that day vividly--

_ Him with one knee on the ground, a small velvet box open in his hand, looking up at the man he wanted to be with for the rest of his life. _

_ Koushi’s sparkling eyes and soft smile, the loud “YES!” he shouted, slightly lifting his left hand to have Osamu put the ring on his finger. _

_ He can still feel the sweetness of the kiss they shared, and the laughter of his family and friends ringing in his ears as they surrounded the couple to congratulate them. _

“I can’t, I can’t tell him. I can’t break his heart like that.” 

Atsumu can hear the shakiness in his twin’s voice. He watches him run his hand through his hair, clearly feeling helpless.

_ Fear. _

The twins were the only ones left in the suite that Atsumu had booked for his bachelor party weekend. The rest of his entourage had already opted to leave before the night ran even deeper as the celebration came to a close. None of them really stuck around to see Osamu bear his heart out, drinking away his worries.

Atsumu shoves his hands in his pockets and sighs, looking over at Osamu who had his head down on the mini bar across him.  The blond was taken aback with what Osamu had just confessed. He knew something was off, but he thought it was just his brother getting cold feet or something. 

Never in a million years would he have thought that Osamu would cheat on Suga. Never. 

He mentally curses himself. He wasn’t around all the time but maybe if he had paid closer attention to his brother, he could have had the opportunity to knock some sense into the guy before this happened.

“Well, you shouldn’t even have cheated in the first place. We wouldn’t be here had you not done that... I don’t know what happened to you but anyone who had eyes could tell that you and Koushi were head over heels for each other.”

He sees Osamu wincing at his statement.

“Secondly, you had years to come clean and you only thought of doing so a few weeks before your wedding? You’re one hell of a selfish dude, aren't cha?”

“Don’t patronize me, ‘Tsumu!.” Osamu spat, “I had my reasons for not telling him. I ended things with Rin three years ago, there was no one else after that. That should be enough.”

_ Excuses. _

“Samu, those are just shitty excuses you tell yourself to make yourself feel better. You’re only acting this way right now because the guilt is eating you up and you want to be freed from it.”

“Fuck you!” Osamu lashes out.

“Look at you! You’re getting so worked up over it right now because you just want to stop feeling the way you’re feeling. You want to stop the thing that is eating away at your happiness and guess what ‘Samu? That’s the feeling of guilt!”

Osamu couldn’t even get a word in. Atsumu did not stop.

“Did you even stop and think that this isn’t fair to Suga? He made a decision to marry you! It’s only right to tell him. Do this for him--for the both of you.”

A long pause.

“...what if I lose him?” It was quiet, but Atsumu could hear the tremble in his voice.

Atsumu’s face softens at that. He has never heard his brother sound so weak and vulnerable.

“Well, that’s the consequence of your actions. 

I get that you’re scared of losing him but think of it this way, you’re doing right by him by owning up to what you did. You don’t really have the right to choose what happens next, you lost that right when you cheated.

You love him, right? Then allow him to make his own decisions freely, no secrets.”

_ Decision. _

Osamu couldn’t feel his hands anymore, his hands were balled into fists so tight, his knuckles were white. He knew what he had to do and it feels like he’s about to jump off a cliff without a parachute, without anything to catch his fall.

“I love him so much.”

“Good, that’s all the motivation you need.” Atsumu messes up Samu’s hair.

“You know that I hate you for being right, right?”

“Pffffft! Well duh, I’m older than you, I’m always right! And also, you’re just hopelessly selfish, ‘Samu. That’s part of being human.” 

He felt a pat on the back, it’s as if Atsumu is wishing him luck and that he trusts that he’ll do the right thing.

Atsumu is right. He knows he's selfish. 

He was swallowed by his guilt; it prevented him from making Koushi, and himself, from being truly happy. 

_ He was selfish for keeping this from the only person who truly mattered to him.  _

_ He was selfish for not allowing Koushi to freely decide what he wanted.  _

_ He was selfish for making decisions that only made himself happy. _

* * *

“Hey babe, did you have fun?” Koushi greets him by the entryway, “Where did Atsumu take you guys? I’m still jealous you guys got to have your bachelor party before I did!” he places a hand on his forehead, “You spent the whole weekend away while I wasted away, waiting for my future husband to come back home! If only Tooru’s flight was a little bit earlier, we probably would have enjoyed this weekend at the same time.”

Osamu watches Koushi complain dramatically about how he has to wait for his best friend’s flight and not being able to have some fun. 

He couldn’t help but chuckle at that.

Sugawara Koushi has always lightened up his mood, he really is the source of his joy and happiness. His spontaneity had always added the little dash of spice and excitement in their relationship. It’s never boring with Koushi around.

_ And oh god, I just love him.  _

He has always known that he could count on Koushi no matter what happens. Koushi would always be right by his side to support him. 

This time though, he wasn’t so sure if that was the case--not after what he’s about to do.

“...babe? Did you not have fun?” 

He suddenly sees Koushi’s worried face in front of him, silently asking if he’s okay.

“Yeah, no, I did. It was...enjoyable to say the least.” He let out a small laugh, trying to look happy.  _ What’s the point though. _

They padded their way into their living room with Osamu heading straight towards the couch, still deep in his thoughts. 

Behind him, he could hear Koushi preparing a warm cup of tea. 

\----

Koushi was expecting his fiance to arrive soon. It’s late but that’s what’s really expected, coming from a weekend filled with drinking. 

What he didn’t expect is to see Osamu in their entryway looking worse for wear, as if he didn’t spend the weekend celebrating at all.

_ Something is wrong. _

His soon-to-be husband looked like he came from a funeral rather than a bachelor’s party. He  **smelled** like a bachelor’s party, but he sure as hell didn’t look like he came from one. He was too quiet.

Granted that Atsumu was the one who organized the party (they had a love-hate relationship as twins), but it still should have been fun right? Koushi doesn’t think the twin would do anything ‘Samu didn’t like for such a special occasion. It could have been wild and outrageous, but not to the point where ‘Samu would not have enjoyed right?

Koushi snapped out of his thoughts and welcomed Osamu home, yapping about how he was so jealous that he got to have the party before him because he had to wait for his best friend to come home. He acted as dramatic as he could to lift his partner’s mood.

He heard a chuckle and mentally celebrated that he made him smile!

It was short lived though. 

As soon as Osamu removed his shoes, he was back in his own thoughts again, heading straight to their couch.

What happened? He said he had fun but Osamu looked anything but.

_ Maybe he’s just tired? A cup of tea might help. _ Koushi made a beeline towards the kitchen to start a kettle. __

The air was tense.

He hears Osamu call him out and he almost jumps at the sound.

“Kou…”

“Hmm?” He managed to let out.

“Can...we talk?”

_ That’s odd. Did I do anything wrong? _

“Yeah? Yeah, sure. Hold on let me just finish up here.” Koushi hurriedly filled the kettle with water and set it on the stove to boil.

_ Calm down. It can’t be anything bad right? _

Koushi was panicking. This was something out of the ordinary; it did not feel right at all.

_ Can we skip this and go back to our usual routine of cuddles before bed?  _ He sighed to himself, desperately trying to make light of the tension.

He nervously walked towards the dining table and sat across Osamu.

_ Silence. _

It was deafening and Koushi was staring at his hands on the table, waiting for Samu to say something—anything.

“I...I have something to tell you, Kou. It’s important. Promise me you’d hear me out?” 

_ He looks like he’s begging. _

“Haha...of course I’d listen to you, dummy. Spit it out already, it sounds like you’re breaking up with me or something.”

_ He looks nervous. _

Koushi cuts him off and continues, “Babe! It’s fine, it’s not a big deal, I won’t be mad!” Koushi encourages.

_ No, he looks frightened. _

Nothing Koushi says could cut through the tension in the air.

Something was up, he could feel it. He could feel that in any minute now, his world is going to fall apart. He wanted to take back his encouragement and save this conversation for another day. Whatever it is, his gut is telling him he’s never going to be ready for this. To step on the breaks. To call it a night. To just stop.

A pause.

Osamu’s mouth opens and Koushi just stares, he felt numb.

The kettle whistles.

Koushi stands up to turn the stove off, his back facing Osamu. He’s gripping the countertop as hard as he could, Osamu’s last words still ringing in his ears.

Seconds pass, there’s a hand on his shoulder.

“Kou—say something.” It was barely a whisper but Koushi heard it.

He needs to process this. But, what’s there to process. He heard what Osamu said, loud and clear. His heart just shattered into pieces; the sudden hollowness and emptiness slowly enveloping him.

_ Anger. _

He shrugged Osamu’s hand off his shoulder and turned to look at him. 

“What the hell do you want me to say to that!? Do you want me to ask who you fucked behind my back? When it happened? How many times has it happened? Did you want me to know how you enjoyed it? Fuck, Osamu, we’re getting married in a few weeks!”

He pushed him away.

“No, Kou. Listen! I ended things with Rin three years ago!” Osamu raised his voice.

“Rin? Suna Rintarou?! For fuck’s sake, you met him at uni!”

He hears himself force out a dry chuckle, trying to keep his tears at bay and comes to a realization. “That long, huh?”

“Koushi, I’m here now, I’ve been here the whole time! I chose you, I love you. You’re the one I want to be with!” Osamu tries to close the gap between them, frantically cupping his lover’s face, trying to wipe away the tears that have already escaped. 

Koushi grips tightly onto Osamu’s wrists, forcefully prying his hands away from his face to distance himself again.

“Do not touch me.” he mutters angrily and looks up at Osamu.

“You ended it years ago? You chose me? You love me!? Is that supposed to make me feel any better?!

Just because you had a god damn epiphany a couple of years back and chose to propose to me, that does not absolve you from anything! How the fuck did you think that you, telling me now, isn’t going to hurt me?!

You haven’t even apologized yet. Fuck you, Samu. You’re so fucking selfish!”

He pushes him away, fighting the urge to punch him in his anger.

“No...babe, I-I was just caught in the moment, I didn’t mean to—I’m sorry—“ 

“...we’ve been together for 13 years, Samu. 13 years! You met Rin at uni, we were already together back then...”

Koushi continues, “...it feels like this thing between us—I don’t even know what to call this anymore—didn’t even matter to you, that I didn’t even have to exist in your life. 

I love you, so so much. Right now, it just feels like I was all alone in this relationship. I can’t believe I wasted half my life with you. I was walking around bragging to everyone like a fool when you proposed to me, not knowing that I wasn’t the only one...

...tell me...were you ever truly happy with me?” Koushi’s tears wouldn’t stop.

He didn’t really want to stick around to hear him answer. He’s scared that the answer would draw him even deeper into an uncontrollable mix of pain and despair.

He can see Osamu’s tears but looking into his eyes made Koushi feel like he was never enough, both anger and disappointment bubbling inside him.

“This isn’t going to work, Samu...I can’t marry you like this, heck I can’t even stand to be alone with you, let alone look at you.”

“Wha-? No, Kou, That’s the last thing I want! I understand how you feel but please, give me a chance! We can postpone our wedding, let’s fix this, please!”

_ Begging. _

“Stop. You have no idea what I’m feeling, Miya! Listen to yourself! This isn’t what you wanted?! Hah! Not everything is going to work according to your plans. Hell, I don’t even think you’re in a position to bargain with me.”

_ Anger. _

He wasn’t going to back out from his own resolve. 

“I wish we’d never met.” Koushi mutters, placing the ring on the table before walking away.

_ Regret. _

  
  



End file.
